Shovelling Bleep Somewhere in Kansas City

This post will not have any pictures to go along with it...And when you read the copy, I am certain that you will be Quite Glad....

I am in Kansas City this week keeping the grandchildren for a few days.  Their Dad is on assignment in New York City, and  Baby Daughter flew up to explore the town and enjoy alone time with her husband. Bikeman keeps calling and asking me if I'm okay, thinking that taking charge of a 5 yr old and a 2 yr old might be more than I can handle these days.....And, oh, yeh....That Christmas Miracle---my COMpletely losing my voice over the holidays---well, that has lingered much longer than necessary...

What Good are you around children if you do not have the voice to yell at them?

Happily, THESE children do not need any yelling at, and remind me frequently of the rules that they should follow....Gee, we haven't even watched ONE episode of Sponge Bob since I Got here....And I am Fine. The children are taking Good Care of me.

ANYway, back to the Subject at Hand (so to speak)....The...uh....the *Bleep*....

Most of my friends claim that eventually, if we visit long enough, my conversation always seems to turn back towards the subject of bowel movements....II don't know how much of that is actually True, but, as I have OFTEN said, this is a function that one should never take for granted.....And one for which we should always be grateful...

I have often said that it shall be my job in heaven to wipe noses.  My own children knew how to blow their own noses by 18 months, in self defense of keeping Momma and the nose-sucker away from them.....I detest nasty noses, and have been known to swab away on children whom I do not even know....They just Needed it....

After today, however, I'm thinking that my job description might just change once I pass over the River, because right now I seem to be surrounded by, well, by other bodily functions...And, I must say, I'm becoming quite good at Scooping the Poop....

Today's first venture outdoors found the children playing on their swingset, and me scooping a gallon bucket of dog poo out of the backyard. This family has 2 big dogs, add my two Collies I brought with me,  and snow has covered their "offerings" for several days now.  Balmy temperatures melted the white stuff, revealing several hazards in the play area, so I took bucket and shovel in hand to tidy up the yard.

This morning the children and I took a walk over to the elementary school playground. They cavorted in the big open field, and the blue merle Collie (whom we refer to as The Liddle Wolf Cub) got to run amok as well. At one point, Prosper stopped and poo'd, and I, not being at the ready with a poop bag, improvised with a wad of paper towels I'd taken to wipe noses in the blustery day....

Now, let me digress a bit...(like I never DO that, duh!)....I feed my Collies a Raw Diet.  This is a diet of raw meat, bones in, and nothing else. The benefits of this "prey" diet are many, but first and foremost is health.  Of course, I am "in the business" of growing lots of coat and also making sure my boyz have bodies that are at optimum strength, endurance, and performance. They are the picture of good health and fitness, their teeth are clean, and their coats are full and lush.

Another added benefit is poop.  Raw-fed dogs' poo is very compact and very dry. So, actually, picking up the objects with a paper towel is not quite as disgusting as it may sound. And besides, there was a dumpster about 100 yds away, so I could dispose of it quite fast. Of course the grandchildren were "grossed out," but, well, I just consider that one of the descriptions they can use regarding me later on, when they get older and things Really get embarrassing....

Our Samuel Robert is 2 1/2, and learning how to use the potty.  He is actually quite independent in his toilette, and doesn't even need to be *reminded* to peepee unless he is distracted on the playground equipment. Pooping, however, is a little bit more involved, and not a skill he is comfortable performing whilst sitting high up in the air, feet dangling...

Samuel Robert currently prefers to "go Commando."  This is a young person's description regarding the covering (or not) of underwear.  Sam does not wear any underwear under his britches....He is, as Kramer on the sitcom Seinfeld announces, "OUT there, BABY!" Makes it all easier when it comes time to stand up to the potty and make a stream....

Today, he stood in the living room and sadly told me that he'd pooped.  He was frozen in time and space, not wanting to MOVE for fear of what was going to happen "next."  Take ONE step in those loose athletic pants, and, well....where would the unwanted stuff wind up?  Down his leg and onto the floor....

Not wanting to make a big deal out of all this (please take note, I never was an advocate of potty training), I took my time getting up and putting my knitting away, nonchalantly offering my help in this matter. I told him to go to the bathroom, and we would take care if "it."  I walked ahead of Samuel, and he followed, knock-kneed and hesitantly, looking over his shoulder all the time for......

Yep....those things eventually rolled right down thru his pants legs and onto the floor. "Oh Nooooo," he told me, distressed at what was happening.

But GrandTone had the ever-present tissue in her pocket, and was quick to retrieve the still warm objects and flush them quickly down the toilet.

Wipies on bottom and legs, new Commando pants, and the boy was up and runnin again, happy and (looked to me like) several pounds lighter.

Fast forward to later that afternoon.  Taking a longggg walk with the children and this time, our "middle" Collie, James.

James usually takes a couple of steps on his walks, and has to "go." Doesn't matter if he has just gone moments before.  Walkies always seems to bring out the poo in this Collie. In my defense, I must remind you that I had two other "added responsibilities" on this venture that I do not normally have ---those being children of 5 and 2.....So I did not think of grabbing a poop bag as we headed down the street (please don't tell my dog obedience students of their teacher's poor planning and bad citizenship).

About 3 blocks into the walk, James stopped. Turned around 3 times, and let loose. Once again, raw-fed, so firm, dry, and not even very smelly....

However...my supply of tissues/paper towels had depleted from my pockets, and I was empty-handed.

THIS is when the planet blew my way an almost-empty Taco Bell bag, and I scooped James offerings in with the packages of hot sauce and yellow taco wrappers. The things we find ourselves being deeply grateful for....

MORE WORK FOR JANE ANNE

For the past few days, I have been working on finishing up the doll clothes for Grace's American Girl doll, Julie.  I sew best late at night when the house is quiet and no one is requesting anything.

Our older Collie, Baden, usually comes into the utility room and lies FIRMly beside the bookshelf (not real close, but in the room and out of the walkway).  I can hear his quiet snores mixing with the hum of the sewing machine, and there is a certain peace in these moments....

Here he is beside the front door, sleeping with the Wolf Cubbie....He sleeps a lot. Tells me he's a bit "curious" about why he sleeps so much.....I'm just glad he's still sleeping and sharing his life with me....

ANYway....Back to the sewing machine...I've been sewing and designing all week, and wanted to publish the "results" before I package them up for Christmas Day.

Once again, I am using Jane Anne as my "fit model." I'm thinking Jane Anne desperately neeeeeds a haircut, but I am certainly not the person to try that---especially since Jane Anne's hair isn't gonna grow back anytime soon..."At Least," I would tell my children, after I'd botched yet another trim job on their bangs, "It'll grow out, and no one will remember...."  Sigh....oh yeh...."they" remember all right....It's one of my Worst attempts at parenting, this bang trimming thang.....I FINALLY realized my limitations and began taking them to the beauty shop even when all they needed was to get the bangs out of their eyes....

Jane Anne doesn't seem to mind the tousled look...She just likes the attention, so here's a few pictures....

Remember, of course, that Julie is a "70's girl," and not yer basic Littlehouseontheprarie kinda chick....But I figger that Every young girl needs some sort of prairie outfit in her closet...Ya nevah know when you might need to re-inact a Land Run or something. Besides that, I just HAD to make a pinafore out of this lacy curtain....

Here's a silky denim pantsuit. Shell buttons with snaps underneath.  This was made from a shirt someone gave me. I also used the material under my Snowman Nativity here......

You probably see a yellow dog in front of the Snow Nativity....Okay, so I will digress a bit further and include a picture of yet another Nativity scene nearby...

Yeh, Bikeman got that one for me one year.  It has several breeds, but....sigh.....no Collie.....

ANYway....back to Jane Anne and the clothes.

Pajamas.  Made from a pair of sleep pants I did not want..... Of course, a girl in Kansas City has to be warm in the evening....So, Of Course she needs a matching robe!

And speaking of keeping warm in Kansas City, she could certainly us a leather coat....I made this from a red leather skirt that I got from the thrift store.....

Pretty cute, huh?! The belt with the snapper is the original skirt waistband....

And then, of course, there's a Sweater Outfit.  Made from a mohair sweater that I did not wear anymore. I used the ribbing for the collar and the bottoms of the legs and hem of the sweater. Julie should stay plenty warm in this liddle rig....

In an "effort" to create a few "Bohemian" articles of clothing, I fashioned this shirt out of a cotton shirt I had in my closet. I think the tie strings are a bit too long, but I'll let Grace make that call. 

And, now, ladies and gentlemen, it is Party Time!!!!

A silk shirt that I never wear anymore.....green net-like material I found on sale at Hancock's (thinking of making future dance collars for the Collies)....

She can also wear the glitzy top with this funky skirt....The skirt is a "recycled" ladies' boot.....Yeh, the top of the boot is the skirt with the ankle embellishment for the waistband.

And here is my Favorite, overthetop outfit of all!  The blouse is a sheer curtain (lined with material from a pillowcase), and the skirt an old blouse I found at a rummage sale (you can see the buttonholes on the hem). Flounce petticoat  is yet another color of that "net-like" material I originally bought for the dance collars. 

So...there you have it! Julie is officially "Christmas'd UP," and I am ready to find a suitable box for her wardrobe. There's a small trunk outside in the storage barn that I used as a prop for one of the boyz performances....(please keep in mind that this was done over 2 years ago...We have learned a Lot since then).

NOW....another cuppa coffee and count the minutes until we leave for Christmas and Family!  Or, as Grace would say, "Only three more sleeps...."

CREATION

I came out of the womb knowing how to sew.  I was sewing doll clothes on my grandmother's sewing machine when I was 4 years old. I remember my mom hovering over me (the sewing machine was in my grandmother's livingroom), and asking her mother in law, "What if she sews her fingers?!"  My grandmother answered her, "Well......It'll be the Last time she does it." 

     I didn't sew my fingers until my own children were well into their 20's---and I never did it again....

I've sewn lots of things over the past 55 years....my own clothes, my wedding dress, bridesmaid dress for Susy's wedding, The Christening Gown,  my children's clothes, dolls, stuffed animals, costumes for River City Players, Halloween costumes, clothes, curtains, dog garments, dog mats, upholstered couches, quilts, trumpet gig bags, leather purses, prom dresses, church altar cloths,  daughter's wedding gown and accompanying bridesmaid dresses, grandbaby quilts and crib bumpers, Christmas ornaments....well, you get the picture......I sew to Relax.....to satisfy my need to create.....to share pieces of my life with others......

Probably the Most Fun thing to sew, however, is what I sewed when I first sat down to a sewing machine....

Doll Clothes.....

Ever heard of  American Girl Dolls  ?  These dollies came out after my children were asking for "infant mannequins" for Christmas (ever talk in such "code" at Christmastime?.....Santa becomes "the Celestial Elf"....Christmas is "First Nativity"......older child is "primary offspring"....all encoded so that the children in our household would not understand the "secrets" we were discussing).

The dolls come with books about them, clothes, and furniture, and trunks...trunks for storing those clothes....The dolls are expensive, but certainly something that grandmothers want to buy. However,  their clothes cost way more than I would pay for my own garments.

Enter McCalls, Butterick, and Simplicity.....THEY make lovely doll clothes patterns for American Girl Dolls, and I have lots of fabric just waiting to be sewn into overthetop garments for granddaughter's Bitty Babies and Kirsten and Julie.....

I have cleared out my closet periodically and saved a few items I've scored from the thrift store dumpster....Today I made a doll sweater from a woven wool/mohair (made in Scotland) muffler that has been washed and sorta felted. 

 I've also cut out doll panties and a pinafore from some Battenburg lace curtains. A red leather skirt I dug out of the trash has become a doll coat. I cut up a pr of jeans for jeans;


a blouse made in India was transformed into a "70's" style tunic....

Doncha just Love the sleeves!

An old satin dress might have enough fabric for matching grandaughter/doll outfits....

Meet Jane Anne. 

 She's a garage sale find I purchased a few years ago. Poor, cheap imitation of the AG doll, but nonetheless the same size.  I've named her after my friend Jane Anne  who lives in New York City. Jane Anne is a "size model." She is a perfect size 10, and wears a leotard to work. She tries on clothes for designers in NY who check to see that their sizing is consistent. SOMEtimes, ya just need a real live model to ck out the curves and shaping. 

THIS Jane Anne resides on the top shelf in my sewing room. She never gets played with, until I get out my American Girl Doll patterns. She models the clothes I make, allowing me to sew buttons and hems and snaps in the correct places.

Yes, those marks on her are mine. Her measurements are very close to the American Girl Dolls, but some comparison is necessary.

She's a very patient model.....Good company, actually....But then, I've always enjoyed the company of dolls....

The Sins of the Parents become...Well, the Sins of the Parents.....

I like to mosaic.  Not exactly your "traditional" mosaic-type mosaicing, but rather, well...I break dishes, cups, saucers, ceramics items that have been cast off, and stick them onto things, then grout.

The "things" I stick them onto are flower pots, they themselves usually cast off because of a crack or a nick. But, as the flowerpot inventory runs low, and I am loathe to purchase new ones (have you priced those plain old terracotta pots lately?), I have branched out to other "palettes" upon which to stick my broken dishes....

Apologies for using the Victorian word loathe...I just did not want to describe myself as "cheap".....Sounds so Negative within such a Delightful activity....

So, I have begun looking at surfaces rather differently...There are many more venues besides typical curved pots to embellish....Like, say, for instance, an old wooden silverware chest.

This was made for my sister and brotherinlaw for their anniversary last year. It includes lots of the "stuff" of their (and our) lives....There's a church (in dark pink), a bass fish jumping (broinlaw, Don, is a fisherman), a pc of "Golden Wheat" dishes we used to get out of laundry detergent when we were children, dogs, a sleigh (Sherry collects sleighs), some pink Fiestaware (her favorite), a star (my icon) with a blonde headed baby (Amanda, who is now a grownup lady)..

Here you can see more Golden Wheat...and a picture of Elvis...

The decorated wooded chest was received with great joy and laughter. I lined it with fabric, and I think it took its place somewhere in my sister's pink livingroom...

This is The Planets....a collection of orbs depicting some of the stuff in our solar system.

Here's the other side....Saturn and his moons....

Any guess as to What the "medium" is for this creation?  Well....if you look closely, you will see that it is a dang toilet tank! Yep....found it in somebody's trash heap....Hey! It makes a great planter...builtin hole in the bottom and everything....

Of course, you cannot leave the tank LID on the side of the road, either....I've found several of these, and have made numerous creations from lids....Here's the latest 2:

These will go as prizes for the upcoming World Canine Freestyle Competition in Norman (OK) later on this month. The second one is the WCFO logo in mosaic.  Making recognizeable images in mosaic is NOT easy, but the challenge is quite fun.

I mosaic'd a birdhouse for the Habitat for Humanity fundraiser.

And then....Then, there's my bowling ball colletion...Of aliens from other planets. Here's my first one.  He's called Starman.

Dunno what her name is, but she breathes tree leaves....And sports a pillbox hat...I call her Althea.

I learned a lot making this one...FIRST of all that I must put the eyes up lots higher on the orb.....But I like him...He's my favorite color....and he has dorky teeth...He sits in an old bathroom sink in my back yard....

I have a wonderful studio setup in my storage barn. Anyone is welcome to come over and bust thangs and stick them on stuff.

 

 It is an activity that satisfies many elements in my life. Creativity, Serenity, and even, well...a bit of Anger Management....Bikeman and I haven't had a decent fight in months.....

Last year, when my  younger daughter and her two children came to housesit for us (Bikeman was playing his trumpet in Breckenridge for a few weeks; I was dancing with the younger Collies at a World Canine Freestyle International competition) and to keep watch over our older, retired Collie Baden. I stocked the house with food, and tried to think of as many fun activities as I could for the three of them to do. As it turned out, she cooked her own food and found her own activities....You can read about it if you follow the link to her blog and scroll down to last summer's entries.

I offered my studio to her if she wanted to create something from brokeness, and even made an effort to clean and organize the area a bit.

While I was cleaning, I noticed that a rubber mouse had fallen from the Halloween deocorations box.....

Hmmmmmm....always one to scare the dickens out of my children, I placed the rubber mouse beside one of the boxes, knowing that, once The Baby went out to the barn to create, she would be properly startled at the sight of the tiny rodent.....

She never went out there all week. So the mouse went un-noticed, and I had to find other means to frighten the child in other places.....(which, of course, I did, and many times)

The rubber mouse went forgotten, and the surrounding clutter swallowed it and its memory from my consciousness.....

Last night, I was looking for some table legs in the storage barn. It was dark outside, and quite late. I had just finished a wonderful session with a mosaic'd bowling ball.....I located the table legs and was "redistributing" the clutter, and what should appear but a tiny grey mouse from under the boards near the lawnmower!

I was appropriately and Completely startled, fell backwards a little, landed on a sharp piece of broken plate, and sat down hard.....

Change.....

I do not like Change. It is annoying and it rocks me out of my Comfort Zone. I'd like to stay the same age I am now.....I'd like for it to be Spring all the time....I'd like to keep Daylight Savings Time all year long....I'd like for all my clothes to fit, no matter what I ate.....And I'd like to have Andy Griffith on television all day long.

Even "good change" is bad....Like the positive stuff that can improve your life or bring you extra special joy and thanksgiving.

I'd just rather Stay The Same.

Change makes life difficult and unpredictable. It can just plain strip you of your confidence in everything that is normal and believable. It creates chaos and high blood pressure. It interrupts your sleep and limits your planning. It costs money and slows you down.

The older I get, the less I like Change....and, it seems, the older I get, the More things change.....

Have I mentioned that I am able to communicate with other species?  Yeh....It's a discovery that I have made about myself in the past few years. With a little help from some wonderful animal communicators and some kind friends who see me as quirky, but love me nonetheless, I have taken this gift to several levels higher and have actually been able to help out when the need arises. A lot of the "success" with this kind of thing is believing in what you see and feel and in the reactions of the animals themselves.

Once they start talking to me, they won't shut up....

Of course, I started with dogs. They are, for the most part, pretty willing to talk and communicate. I find it kind of amusing that most every one of them immediately wants to "show" me where they sleep--what their bed looks like. And many times they say things to me that I do not understand at all.....When I tell such nonsense to their owners, their owners know right away what the dogs were talking about.

In order to explain that point,let me digress a bit....When I met Batman, a big tricolor Collie

 one summer day, he immediately came up to me and told me "I eat bones...."  I smiled and told him I knew that (his mom and I had both started our Collies  on a Raw Diet several months before), and I was glad he was eating so good. Batman's mom and I had a little laugh about that "announcement," and continued strolling thru their lovely yard, enjoying the pretty perennials and the gorgeous view.

A few weeks later, Batman's mom called me and told me that she had learned there was "more" to the story about the bones.  She had gone to Dog Camp for a week with her two younger dogs, and left Batman at home with her husband and two sons. While she was away, Batman had gotten a bone caught in his teeth, couldn't get it out on his own, and None of the males in the house could understand WHY Batman kept "annoying" them, until, at last, they inspected his mouth, several hours later.

Apparently, this event impacted the Collie more than any of the humans were aware.....Enough so that he felt a need to announce it to a new friend, at the initial meeting.

Since then, I have tried to listen more, and realize that what they have to say is important, indeed. Still, they say the darndest things....

I've tried talking to cats. Mostly they just want to do what they want to do. They don't even acknowledge that I appreciate their beauty and athleticism. When I was telling one tom that he was going to go to the vet to get neutered, he hissed and spat at me....So, mostly, I just wait for them to come up to me, if they need to give me any information.

I've communicated with a few insects before. Praying Mantis and ants and even houseflies. It's been interesting to see flies zip out the door when I tell them that, even tho it is cool in here, they cannot stay and I DO have a flyswatter and know how to use it. Haven't had much of a fly problem in the past few months...Perhaps it is not as respectful as I should be regarding all life, but I have progressed into talking First, swatting second.... Mark Twain said that "the fly is the only animal that was made in vain."  I tend to agree with that philosophy....

And, so, this spring, when my watergarden hatched out hundreds of tiny black tadpoles....I sat on the rock and tried to connect.

I was amazed at the response I received! They all spoke together in one little pipe-y voice.

"We are many! We are Many!" they piped to me. 

"I can see that," I told them. "Do you have anything for me?"

"We are too little! What do we have that would be of importance to you?" they trilled.

"Well," I replied calmly and serenely as I could (but smiling at their humbleness), "there are lots of things you can teach me. Like, okay, well, maybe how about metamorphisis?"

"We like change! We like change! We Like change!" they chorused together.

And so it was that I began my journey of change this summer of my 58th year.....

Thru the eyes of the tadpoles I began to embrace the changes in my life, and have grown, maybe a little, since they began teaching me.

These creatures are perhaps the happiest beings on the face of the earth, and they start out Life completely different than what they will become as grown up frogs.  Even breathing is different for them
---and mobility---and vocalizing---and eating---and, for that matter, community life....All different. All changing. All a new journey once the tails are gone
and the legs grow in......

 

And it all happens so Fast! From eggs that look like clumps of jelly to tiny wiggling dots with tails to fullblown-grownup-mosquito-eating-lilypad-hopping true frogs. Family Ranidae.

Of course, it happens pretty fast in MY life as well...
Seems like we went from this:

To this:

in only a heartbeat.....

I didn't think I would like it....but I guess I really do.....After all, "amphibian" means "double life."  Perhaps this is what the Plan has been all along....If we allow Change, then we will be able to double our life...and perhaps have twice as much fun than we had before...... 

 Everything must change


Nothing stays the same

Everyone must change

No one stays the same



The young become the old

And mysteries do unfold

Cause that's the way of time

Nothing and no one goes unchanged



There are not many things in life

You can be sure of

Except rain comes from the clouds

Sun lights up the sky

And hummingbirds do fly



Winter turns to spring

A wounded heart will heal

But never much too soon

Yes everything must change



The young become the old

And mysteries do unfold

Cause that's the way of time

Nothing and no one goes unchanged



There are not many things in life

You can be sure of

Except rain comes from the clouds

Sun lights up the sky

And butterflies do fly



Rain comes from the clouds

Sun lights up the sky

And music

And music

Makes me cry