Shovelling Bleep Somewhere in Kansas City

This post will not have any pictures to go along with it...And when you read the copy, I am certain that you will be Quite Glad....

I am in Kansas City this week keeping the grandchildren for a few days.  Their Dad is on assignment in New York City, and  Baby Daughter flew up to explore the town and enjoy alone time with her husband. Bikeman keeps calling and asking me if I'm okay, thinking that taking charge of a 5 yr old and a 2 yr old might be more than I can handle these days.....And, oh, yeh....That Christmas Miracle---my COMpletely losing my voice over the holidays---well, that has lingered much longer than necessary...

What Good are you around children if you do not have the voice to yell at them?

Happily, THESE children do not need any yelling at, and remind me frequently of the rules that they should follow....Gee, we haven't even watched ONE episode of Sponge Bob since I Got here....And I am Fine. The children are taking Good Care of me.

ANYway, back to the Subject at Hand (so to speak)....The...uh....the *Bleep*....

Most of my friends claim that eventually, if we visit long enough, my conversation always seems to turn back towards the subject of bowel movements....II don't know how much of that is actually True, but, as I have OFTEN said, this is a function that one should never take for granted.....And one for which we should always be grateful...

I have often said that it shall be my job in heaven to wipe noses.  My own children knew how to blow their own noses by 18 months, in self defense of keeping Momma and the nose-sucker away from them.....I detest nasty noses, and have been known to swab away on children whom I do not even know....They just Needed it....

After today, however, I'm thinking that my job description might just change once I pass over the River, because right now I seem to be surrounded by, well, by other bodily functions...And, I must say, I'm becoming quite good at Scooping the Poop....

Today's first venture outdoors found the children playing on their swingset, and me scooping a gallon bucket of dog poo out of the backyard. This family has 2 big dogs, add my two Collies I brought with me,  and snow has covered their "offerings" for several days now.  Balmy temperatures melted the white stuff, revealing several hazards in the play area, so I took bucket and shovel in hand to tidy up the yard.

This morning the children and I took a walk over to the elementary school playground. They cavorted in the big open field, and the blue merle Collie (whom we refer to as The Liddle Wolf Cub) got to run amok as well. At one point, Prosper stopped and poo'd, and I, not being at the ready with a poop bag, improvised with a wad of paper towels I'd taken to wipe noses in the blustery day....

Now, let me digress a bit...(like I never DO that, duh!)....I feed my Collies a Raw Diet.  This is a diet of raw meat, bones in, and nothing else. The benefits of this "prey" diet are many, but first and foremost is health.  Of course, I am "in the business" of growing lots of coat and also making sure my boyz have bodies that are at optimum strength, endurance, and performance. They are the picture of good health and fitness, their teeth are clean, and their coats are full and lush.

Another added benefit is poop.  Raw-fed dogs' poo is very compact and very dry. So, actually, picking up the objects with a paper towel is not quite as disgusting as it may sound. And besides, there was a dumpster about 100 yds away, so I could dispose of it quite fast. Of course the grandchildren were "grossed out," but, well, I just consider that one of the descriptions they can use regarding me later on, when they get older and things Really get embarrassing....

Our Samuel Robert is 2 1/2, and learning how to use the potty.  He is actually quite independent in his toilette, and doesn't even need to be *reminded* to peepee unless he is distracted on the playground equipment. Pooping, however, is a little bit more involved, and not a skill he is comfortable performing whilst sitting high up in the air, feet dangling...

Samuel Robert currently prefers to "go Commando."  This is a young person's description regarding the covering (or not) of underwear.  Sam does not wear any underwear under his britches....He is, as Kramer on the sitcom Seinfeld announces, "OUT there, BABY!" Makes it all easier when it comes time to stand up to the potty and make a stream....

Today, he stood in the living room and sadly told me that he'd pooped.  He was frozen in time and space, not wanting to MOVE for fear of what was going to happen "next."  Take ONE step in those loose athletic pants, and, well....where would the unwanted stuff wind up?  Down his leg and onto the floor....

Not wanting to make a big deal out of all this (please take note, I never was an advocate of potty training), I took my time getting up and putting my knitting away, nonchalantly offering my help in this matter. I told him to go to the bathroom, and we would take care if "it."  I walked ahead of Samuel, and he followed, knock-kneed and hesitantly, looking over his shoulder all the time for......

Yep....those things eventually rolled right down thru his pants legs and onto the floor. "Oh Nooooo," he told me, distressed at what was happening.

But GrandTone had the ever-present tissue in her pocket, and was quick to retrieve the still warm objects and flush them quickly down the toilet.

Wipies on bottom and legs, new Commando pants, and the boy was up and runnin again, happy and (looked to me like) several pounds lighter.

Fast forward to later that afternoon.  Taking a longggg walk with the children and this time, our "middle" Collie, James.

James usually takes a couple of steps on his walks, and has to "go." Doesn't matter if he has just gone moments before.  Walkies always seems to bring out the poo in this Collie. In my defense, I must remind you that I had two other "added responsibilities" on this venture that I do not normally have ---those being children of 5 and 2.....So I did not think of grabbing a poop bag as we headed down the street (please don't tell my dog obedience students of their teacher's poor planning and bad citizenship).

About 3 blocks into the walk, James stopped. Turned around 3 times, and let loose. Once again, raw-fed, so firm, dry, and not even very smelly....

However...my supply of tissues/paper towels had depleted from my pockets, and I was empty-handed.

THIS is when the planet blew my way an almost-empty Taco Bell bag, and I scooped James offerings in with the packages of hot sauce and yellow taco wrappers. The things we find ourselves being deeply grateful for....

MORE WORK FOR JANE ANNE

For the past few days, I have been working on finishing up the doll clothes for Grace's American Girl doll, Julie.  I sew best late at night when the house is quiet and no one is requesting anything.

Our older Collie, Baden, usually comes into the utility room and lies FIRMly beside the bookshelf (not real close, but in the room and out of the walkway).  I can hear his quiet snores mixing with the hum of the sewing machine, and there is a certain peace in these moments....

Here he is beside the front door, sleeping with the Wolf Cubbie....He sleeps a lot. Tells me he's a bit "curious" about why he sleeps so much.....I'm just glad he's still sleeping and sharing his life with me....

ANYway....Back to the sewing machine...I've been sewing and designing all week, and wanted to publish the "results" before I package them up for Christmas Day.

Once again, I am using Jane Anne as my "fit model." I'm thinking Jane Anne desperately neeeeeds a haircut, but I am certainly not the person to try that---especially since Jane Anne's hair isn't gonna grow back anytime soon..."At Least," I would tell my children, after I'd botched yet another trim job on their bangs, "It'll grow out, and no one will remember...."  Sigh....oh yeh...."they" remember all right....It's one of my Worst attempts at parenting, this bang trimming thang.....I FINALLY realized my limitations and began taking them to the beauty shop even when all they needed was to get the bangs out of their eyes....

Jane Anne doesn't seem to mind the tousled look...She just likes the attention, so here's a few pictures....

Remember, of course, that Julie is a "70's girl," and not yer basic Littlehouseontheprarie kinda chick....But I figger that Every young girl needs some sort of prairie outfit in her closet...Ya nevah know when you might need to re-inact a Land Run or something. Besides that, I just HAD to make a pinafore out of this lacy curtain....

Here's a silky denim pantsuit. Shell buttons with snaps underneath.  This was made from a shirt someone gave me. I also used the material under my Snowman Nativity here......

You probably see a yellow dog in front of the Snow Nativity....Okay, so I will digress a bit further and include a picture of yet another Nativity scene nearby...

Yeh, Bikeman got that one for me one year.  It has several breeds, but....sigh.....no Collie.....

ANYway....back to Jane Anne and the clothes.

Pajamas.  Made from a pair of sleep pants I did not want..... Of course, a girl in Kansas City has to be warm in the evening....So, Of Course she needs a matching robe!

And speaking of keeping warm in Kansas City, she could certainly us a leather coat....I made this from a red leather skirt that I got from the thrift store.....

Pretty cute, huh?! The belt with the snapper is the original skirt waistband....

And then, of course, there's a Sweater Outfit.  Made from a mohair sweater that I did not wear anymore. I used the ribbing for the collar and the bottoms of the legs and hem of the sweater. Julie should stay plenty warm in this liddle rig....

In an "effort" to create a few "Bohemian" articles of clothing, I fashioned this shirt out of a cotton shirt I had in my closet. I think the tie strings are a bit too long, but I'll let Grace make that call. 

And, now, ladies and gentlemen, it is Party Time!!!!

A silk shirt that I never wear anymore.....green net-like material I found on sale at Hancock's (thinking of making future dance collars for the Collies)....

She can also wear the glitzy top with this funky skirt....The skirt is a "recycled" ladies' boot.....Yeh, the top of the boot is the skirt with the ankle embellishment for the waistband.

And here is my Favorite, overthetop outfit of all!  The blouse is a sheer curtain (lined with material from a pillowcase), and the skirt an old blouse I found at a rummage sale (you can see the buttonholes on the hem). Flounce petticoat  is yet another color of that "net-like" material I originally bought for the dance collars. 

So...there you have it! Julie is officially "Christmas'd UP," and I am ready to find a suitable box for her wardrobe. There's a small trunk outside in the storage barn that I used as a prop for one of the boyz performances....(please keep in mind that this was done over 2 years ago...We have learned a Lot since then).

NOW....another cuppa coffee and count the minutes until we leave for Christmas and Family!  Or, as Grace would say, "Only three more sleeps...."

CREATION

I came out of the womb knowing how to sew.  I was sewing doll clothes on my grandmother's sewing machine when I was 4 years old. I remember my mom hovering over me (the sewing machine was in my grandmother's livingroom), and asking her mother in law, "What if she sews her fingers?!"  My grandmother answered her, "Well......It'll be the Last time she does it." 

     I didn't sew my fingers until my own children were well into their 20's---and I never did it again....

I've sewn lots of things over the past 55 years....my own clothes, my wedding dress, bridesmaid dress for Susy's wedding, The Christening Gown,  my children's clothes, dolls, stuffed animals, costumes for River City Players, Halloween costumes, clothes, curtains, dog garments, dog mats, upholstered couches, quilts, trumpet gig bags, leather purses, prom dresses, church altar cloths,  daughter's wedding gown and accompanying bridesmaid dresses, grandbaby quilts and crib bumpers, Christmas ornaments....well, you get the picture......I sew to Relax.....to satisfy my need to create.....to share pieces of my life with others......

Probably the Most Fun thing to sew, however, is what I sewed when I first sat down to a sewing machine....

Doll Clothes.....

Ever heard of  American Girl Dolls  ?  These dollies came out after my children were asking for "infant mannequins" for Christmas (ever talk in such "code" at Christmastime?.....Santa becomes "the Celestial Elf"....Christmas is "First Nativity"......older child is "primary offspring"....all encoded so that the children in our household would not understand the "secrets" we were discussing).

The dolls come with books about them, clothes, and furniture, and trunks...trunks for storing those clothes....The dolls are expensive, but certainly something that grandmothers want to buy. However,  their clothes cost way more than I would pay for my own garments.

Enter McCalls, Butterick, and Simplicity.....THEY make lovely doll clothes patterns for American Girl Dolls, and I have lots of fabric just waiting to be sewn into overthetop garments for granddaughter's Bitty Babies and Kirsten and Julie.....

I have cleared out my closet periodically and saved a few items I've scored from the thrift store dumpster....Today I made a doll sweater from a woven wool/mohair (made in Scotland) muffler that has been washed and sorta felted. 

 I've also cut out doll panties and a pinafore from some Battenburg lace curtains. A red leather skirt I dug out of the trash has become a doll coat. I cut up a pr of jeans for jeans;


a blouse made in India was transformed into a "70's" style tunic....

Doncha just Love the sleeves!

An old satin dress might have enough fabric for matching grandaughter/doll outfits....

Meet Jane Anne. 

 She's a garage sale find I purchased a few years ago. Poor, cheap imitation of the AG doll, but nonetheless the same size.  I've named her after my friend Jane Anne  who lives in New York City. Jane Anne is a "size model." She is a perfect size 10, and wears a leotard to work. She tries on clothes for designers in NY who check to see that their sizing is consistent. SOMEtimes, ya just need a real live model to ck out the curves and shaping. 

THIS Jane Anne resides on the top shelf in my sewing room. She never gets played with, until I get out my American Girl Doll patterns. She models the clothes I make, allowing me to sew buttons and hems and snaps in the correct places.

Yes, those marks on her are mine. Her measurements are very close to the American Girl Dolls, but some comparison is necessary.

She's a very patient model.....Good company, actually....But then, I've always enjoyed the company of dolls....