Thursday, October 16, 2008

Prosper is One Year Old!

Now that I am a Big Boy and have finished a year, I can do lots of things. Mostly, I can jump. Jump. Jump. Jump! I Love to Jump! I used to be very scared to Jump, but now I practice every day, and I can jump ennywher.

And you know what!? I can even Jump up on Mommy's bed! She smiles, then covers her mouth with her paws and says "Off!" I can Jump Off! too! I can Jump in the midle of the room. Like Eddie the cat does. I can Jump onto the Big Chair in the livroom. And when I lie down in the Big Chair, I pretend I am the King. But Mom says "Off!" again, and I hav to be the Big Boy on the Floor.

I think James is realy the King. But I lik to pretend sumtims.

I can Sit!, too! And I can Stay! I kno how to weave inside Mommy's legs. And I can circle around her while she circles the other way. I can bak up on both sides of Mom. And I can bak up in front of her. She smiles a lot when I do that. Sumtims I can even walk real nis besid Mom...Specially if she has kukies in her paws! She calls me Prancer when I do that.

\And you know what! I rid nis in the car, too! I can hup hup in and I Wait! when Mom opens the dor for me to get out. I Wait! reel gud!

Yes, I am groing and being Big. Maybe I'l get biger too and they won't cal me Erkle so much.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Could This be What is WRONG with our Country Today???

Today I received a call that I have received at least 3x a week for several months. It's about credit cards. Even tho I have been taken off the "soliciting list," they still have the "right" to call because it is regarding my current credit card. So it is considered "customer service," and not a solicitation.
They want to give me lower interest rates and open up a new card for me. I don't need lower interest rates. The card is paid off monthly w/out any interest accrued. Duh.
I have told them to take me off their call list. I've been polite. I've been rude. I've been brusque. Today I was an overextended redneck. Don't know if it was effective in reducing the calls, but I sure did feel better.....

The lady axed me (yes, she axed me) if I wanted to lower my cc rates. I told her of course. She then asked what my current rate was. I didn't know. How much did I owe on my cc? About $85,000. She didn't even gulp. She just asked me how many cc's I had. About 8, I told her. When did I plan on paying them off? I laughed and told her that would be the rest of my life! We Both giggled.
Would I like to have another card at a lower rate? Sure! Visa or MC? I'll take MC. Well, do I have an account that has not been shut down or maxed out? I told her all of them are maxed, but none are shut down, I just keep payin' on them. So then she asked me to give her the number of one of the accounts that was in current use so that they could verify it was "in good standing."

By now, Rob had left because he was laughing so hard. He was taking the checkbook to the WalMarts to buy some drain cleaner for the tub.

I had on my full Redneck regalia by this time. Hard "i's," misspoken English, poor grammar. And talking a bit loud and excitedly, too, I mite add....

I told her that I wuddin givin out my cc number to ennybody over th phone!!! That's how folks can steal yer identity, and I didn't want that to happen. She assured me that this was proper and according to their protocol.

Okay, stop and THINK about this! It coulda been Shaneeka from Muskogee calling on her boyfriend's cellphone, for god's sake! There was NO way in the world I coulda known if this were an actual call from Visa....

So, I told her to just mail me sumthin, and I'd git the information that way. She promised to do so...I'm assuming she has my address right there with my phone number, too? Or maybe she was just trying to finish up this call and go on to another one.....

Sigh....SOMEhow, this was a lot more beneficial to me than being rude......I really hope they call again....I think I'll start crying next time and make her feel really sad about my debt that isn't my fault.....

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Thursday, October 2, 2008

My Final Requests....

I went to a funeral the other day. And, of course, these occasions get one to thinking....About ones OWN demise and ending of this section of existence. It is certainly something to look forward to, tho there are plenty of "things" and folks that tie us to this planet. But a funeral is something that I have found is so very important to Those Left Behind. And, as a "final gift" to those loved ones, I think it is important to make ones wishes known regarding the "graduation party."

My friend Susy McHughes had the right idea. We had talked many times before she died (thinking our "end" was a very long way off) about what WE wanted when we passed on. We both agreed that the funeral homes get wayyy too much money from the grieving family, especially if the family is caught unawares. And we noted that we certainly should write down the plans for the party so that the family throwing it would not have any guilt regarding "all that money spent" or "not Enough money spent."

So, here goes, yall. Here are MY "instructions for the Party."

First of all, Let it be known here and now that I have had a Wonderful Life. I've not made history, but I Have made the front page in the local newspaper a few times (tree-hugging, dawg training, walking pre-schoolers to the library in costume, etc), and I've been influential in two very important lives who have become beautiful women. I've known the exclusive love of a kind and handsome man. I've taught the Lord's Prayer to many people. I've taught people how to crochet, knit, embroider, braid (hair and leather!), sew, get stains out of carpets and quilts, pump their own gasoline (yes! There was a Time when it was a new skill to learn!), plant potatoes, create water gardens, and teach their dogs to be Good Citizens. Maybe that's enough. Probably not. I've had way too much fun doing it, so it may not "count" for anything.

So, I'm thinking that all this fun time living should be Celebrated, not grieved. Rejoiced, not wept over.

I don't want this party to be in a church building. I used to think that this was very important, but I've buried too many gerbils, hampsters, kittens, and even dogs in my own yard, with our own ceremonies and prayers to know that the confines of a brick building is not necessary in order to remember the Joy.

So, just use my yard, if the weather permits. If not, then the church gym. Tell folks to bring their guitars so we can sing. And sing yall's favorite hymns (I like "Great is Thy Faithfulness") and campfire songs. "Barges", "Girl Scouts Together," "Ain't it Great to Be Crazy," Disney songs, "Mr Moon, Mr. Moon, You're Out too Soon," ---Em has a bagful of my old songsheets....Pass 'em out! At some point, pray the Lord's Prayer. That's enough "ceremony."

Cheese and crackers, Hershey's chocolate, koolaid, coffee, tequila. Maybe grapes. Beer if the boys want it.

Everyone should wear their favorite color. Mine is Red. I hope everyone who knows me, knows that. We should ALL know each others favorite color and pie. So, wear your favorite color to the celebration, and wear enough of it that everyone will know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what YOUR color is.

Nametags would be good. And bring your business cards, so that if you meet someone you do not know, and discover that you have lots in common, you can contact each other later.

Let my dogs in on the celebration. They can work the crowd like no other. And they will help to make you smile if you decide you wanna grieve....

Tell funny stories about me. And laugh. Laugh a Lot. Hug each other. Don't feel sorry for me or any of yall. Just remember me and get tickled.

Gee. I don't even have a picture to go with this post. And I hope it ain't too morbid for ya. I hope that it gives you a bit of insight to the fact that the bonds of this planet do not hold me as tightly as they did when I was younger. It's a nice planet. My favorite, in fact. But I look forward to what lies beyond and all the songs I will learn thereafter.